I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize