fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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