One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
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