Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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