I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
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