Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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