My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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