my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
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I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
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Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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