I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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