You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize