my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
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