I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
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