if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize