i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize