Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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