Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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