i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize