Will you blow on my dice?
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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