Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize