I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
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Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
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It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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