i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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