He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
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I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
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Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
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