Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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