high people should be assigned attendants
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
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