i just wanna soil my oats bro
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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