Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize