is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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