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I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
My liver just had a heart attack.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
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