when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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