Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
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I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
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Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize