I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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