a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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