i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize