And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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