Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Michael Bay diarrhea
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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