anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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