I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
smell my finger.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize