Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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