Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize