I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize