lets start a swedish sibling band together
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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