He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
The convent might be a nice break from real life
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize