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i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
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