Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
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she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
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I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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