All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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