You made me cry and you don't even care
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
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