well I can't set my house on fire every night
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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