There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
BRING THE BAGELS
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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