Jerry, you need to find god
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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