he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize